Dear children of mine,
Whilst driving to work yesterday morning, I heard a radio advert encouraging children of all ages to pop along to Aldi to buy a gift for their special Mum. Now, I know 'it's the thought that counts' but please do not frequent Aldi for your present choices for the forthcoming Mother's Day.
No-one ever tells you the extent of job roles you have to undertake as a parent so whilst I am locked in the toilet having my first wee in five hours I thought I would start doing a list of my parenting personas to enlighten you all:
*Lollipop lady and other road safety roles.
*Travel agent for meeting all your day trip requirements.
*Complaints and Customer Services Manager.
*Maintainence and Property Management.
*Laundry including collection, washing, drying, folding and room delivery service.
*Bed making and other hotel services.
*Costume designer and seamstress.
*Support worker in delinquent services.
*Refuse and recycling services.
*Environmentalist with specialist interest in turning off lights.
*Forensic scientist investigating both body fluids and crime scenes.
*Continence care nurse.
*Gift selection and wrapping services for weekly parties.
*Comedian for lightening the mood.
*Dance judge as you try to express yourself through the medium of contemporary dance.
In addition, despite this varied role, I receive no annual leave, sick pay, pension scheme or loyalty card. The pay is shocking enough as it is and without annual reviews or increased cost of living but I have never gone on strike which I must accredit to my former career of nursing.
So, my beautiful beloved children, draw me a picture, make me a sandwich, sing me a song or let me have an uninterrupted wee but please do not go to Aldi as a thank you gift.
Mum x x x x